He would earnestly tell her that if the fortune teller said that they should break up, then he would never contact her again.
He would bring up some paranormal thing or other during the meal to set the stage and then, as they walked back to their cars, they would pass this fortune teller and he would casually suggest that before they decide to part ways for good that they should consult a higher power. You see, on this boardwalk was a fortune teller. That’s how foolproof he thought his plan was. How could she say no? He stopped the mower briefly to rub his hands together and indulge in a quick diabolical laugh. A nice goodbye where they could part friends. He would get her to agree to one last date, begging if necessary. Had he not been pushing a mower he would have no doubt rubbed his hands together and let loose a diabolical laugh. He smiled ear to ear as his little scheme came together in his head. But the way she believed it seemed to him to be so endearing that he not only tolerated it, but her passion for it somehow made her more attractive. He, on the other hand, thought it was all nonsense. From healing crystals and speaking to the dead to telepathy and fung shui, she thought all of it was as valid and reasonable as any science or psychology she’d ever heard. This girl he was infatuated in believed in all things mystical.
That’s when he got his brilliant idea… although, to be fair, the morality of it was on shaky ground. Why, he wondered, would she send a couple of her sexed-up winged minions to his house when he was busy trying to forget that she had just recently rejected his sexual advances? She knew that he had taken it hard. She’d told him so on a number of occasions. While she dabbled in a variety of flying insects, her specialty was dragonflies. I said ‘haunted’ earlier because his recently-ex girlfriend believes not only in coincidences but also in her ability to cause them. “What sorcery is this?” he said under his breath. One giant golden one and one smaller one and they seemed to be getting very amorous as they flew around completely entwined. It wasn’t until the dragonfly’s ten or eleventh pass that he noticed it was dragonflies. Very unusual as dragonflies weren’t something that usually haunted his neighborhood. As he was trying to do his best to mow in straight lines while at the same time humming along with, and occasionally doing a small shimmy to, a selection of his favorite songs, at a decibel level that his phone warned him was detrimental to his long-term hearing, an enormous golden dragonfly began following him around. The idea came to him as he was mowing his lawn.
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